


Sastiel Love Week 2017

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional tags per chapter, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 07:02:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12721887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Fics for Sastiel Love Week 2017





	1. Day 1 - Firsts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scylla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scylla/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel struggles with his place in the world, as it changes through interactions with the Winchesters.
> 
> Tags: Major character death, canon-verse

For all of his existence, Castiel had a role to play. He was good at it. He liked it. There were expectations, and he lived up to them, or he failed to do so and was punished for it. Either way, he knew what he could expect.

The year preceding the Apocalypse shook Castiel’s world. Always before, the path of the soldier, the warrior of God, was clear. Even when, in his heart, he questioned how the orders could come from the Father he believed he knew, he never let those seeds take root. He never expressed his doubts. He had faith in the path before him, the righteousness of Heaven and his Father and his superiors.

Dean Winchester forced him to reevaluate it all.

He’d thought he and Dean were alike. Good soldiers who had the capability to command armies at need, but were best off with a commander of their own. For Dean, it had been his father; he was somewhat lost without having his father’s orders to follow. For Castiel, it hadn’t mattered. Zachariah, Naomi, Anna, Michael himself – orders were orders and whoever passed the message on to him, he would pass it along to his garrison and see them carried out. In the absence of orders, he and his garrison would sit and watch.

Surely, Dean would see the wisdom of falling in line and serving Heaven. Once again be a soldier in an army, rather than a lone hunter trying to do what little he could alone. Castiel, naturally, discounted the brother. The brother was a distraction at best and an active hindrance at worst to what Dean was to accomplish.

When Dean made Castiel see the truth – both times – he tried to make sense of it. There wasn’t time, the first time, before Naomi captured him and restrained his doubts. He’d been reprogrammed too often, though, and this one did not take the way it once had. It wasn’t long at all before Dean had broken through it. Just a little too long.

In the wake of his complete break with Heaven, Castiel tried to rebuild himself a world that made sense. Instead of following Michael, he would follow Dean until he could find his Father and the true mission. Of course, even that couldn’t go right. His Father didn’t care about the mission. There was no true mission. At that point, pretty much all Castiel could do was keep fighting with Dean. Not that Dean was much use in the fight anymore, either.

The first time Castiel truly disobeyed his Father was when he dove into the Cage. He didn’t examine his motivations too closely. All he could think was that it was terribly unfair that Sam, the hero who had selflessly given himself up for the world, for free will, for all of humanity, must suffer such eternal torment. He’d believed there would be some sort of intervention, some sort of reward for Sam’s heroism – right up until he laid hands on Sam in the Cage.

This time, the role Castiel took on was that of a leader. The angels of Heaven looked up to him. They respected him. They chose him as their leader when they needed one who would stand up to Raphael. Castiel screwed that up badly, nearly destroying everything as he became overwhelmed and blinded by his new power. Purgatory was nice – no one expected him to be anything there. Naomi jerked him out and made him her puppet, and then Metatron made him the destroyer of Heaven. As a human, he was worse than useless. As an angel living on borrowed grace, he was once again cast in the role of leader, but this time, he could feel how badly it fit him. Hannah didn’t understand how he could give it up. It wasn’t for Dean. Dean was just the excuse, the one that would convince the angels once and for all that he was unfit to rule.

When Dean died, and Castiel found himself dying, his only regret was that he couldn’t do more to help Sam. This was only made worse when he realized that Sam didn’t hate him for it, didn’t see him as weak or useless, even if he couldn’t help the way he could have before he let Metatron trick him. When Sam’s shoulder got broken, Castiel would have done anything to be able to heal it for him. “I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m useless to you now.”

“Dude. Cas. This isn’t about whether you’re useful or not. Dean couldn’t fix my arm, are you saying he was useless?”

“No, but I’m an angel. Healing was always something I was very good at, and now, I can’t fix a simple snapped bone.”

Sam hugged him as best he could with just the one arm. “I know you miss your powers. Your wings. You’re not useless just because you can’t do what you once could. People change. So you can’t do what you used to. There’s still so much you can do.”

“Without my powers, what am I? What role do I have here? I’ve been a soldier, a rebel, a leader, a savior, a destroyer… what am I?”

Sam shrugged with his good shoulder. “I don’t know, man. You’re Castiel. That’s enough for me. Be whatever you can be, what you wanna be.”

For the first time in his life, Castiel didn’t have a role to play. Sam wouldn’t give him one. It was odd, having that freedom – and Castiel found that all he wanted to do was to stay by Sam’s side and be whatever Sam would let him be to him.


	2. Day 2 - AUs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's off to Stanford. He meets someone in a church while he's waiting for classes to start, and it's a good thing, too. Otherwise it would have just been creepy.
> 
> Tags: College AU, Castiel is Still an Angel

Sam quickly became aware of the presence in the church. He was used to having people sneak up on him while he was lost in prayer. Priests, pastors, reverends, ministers, whatever the church called their leaders, somehow they were very good at spotting a lonely boy who needed to talk. But this one was different. The man in the pew ahead of him didn’t look that much older than him, and he certainly didn’t look like a holy man. He looked like an accountant – except for the trench coat.

“Hello, Sam.” That weirded Sam out. How did this guy know his name? “I am Castiel. I have come to… I’m not sure how to explain my assignment. Advise you? Listen to you? My father believes that you will need a friend who knows where you come from, with whom you do not need to hide or lie about your past. I do not understand his command, but I will honor it.”

“What?” Sam asked, utterly bewildered. “Look, I’m perfectly capable of making friends, and if I feel a burning need to talk about my childhood, well, I have my brother’s cell phone number and his promise that he’ll answer if he can.”

Castiel shrugged. “As I said, I do not understand. I am to be a student here, and your friend, but I share your confusion as to why. There must have been better choices. I am… somewhat awkward.” Sam couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped. “I’m sure one of the more socially competent of my brethren would have been able to make contact without you knowing what was happening. I am not good at this.”

“Let me guess, we happen to have all the same classes?” Sam said, wondering how he was going to deal with having a stalker.

Castiel thought for a moment. “Unlikely. You are planning on studying psychology and working toward preparing for law school, correct?” Sam nodded. “I am studying philosophy, religion, and classics. We may have some classes in common, but all of them seems unlikely.”

“Well, that’s something,” Sam muttered. “You’re not stalking me, at least. You really have no idea why you’re here, I mean, aside from your dad telling you to?”

“I really don’t,” Castiel confirmed. “Father gave the order, it was passed down through the line, and Zachariah informed me. I don’t even really know what I’m supposed to do. Be your friend, yes, but how is that measured? Check in with you on Thursday evenings? Come when you call me? I know friends do things together, but… aside from classes at Stanford, what if we can’t find something to agree on?”

Sam actually kind of felt bad for the guy. “Well, tell you what. Come by my dorm room tomorrow and we’ll look at schedules and stuff, figure out where to go from there. You seem like a nice enough guy and I’d hate for you to disappoint your family. Are you gonna live in the dorms?”

“I am, although I haven’t moved in yet,” Castiel said. “I’m not sure where I’m going and I’ve never… this will be a very different experience.”

“Yeah, for me, too,” Sam said. “Okay, so… obviously you’re not just a normal human. What are you?”

Castiel shot him a wary glance. “You will find it difficult to believe. Yes, you will, even with everything you’ve seen. I am an angel of the Lord.”

“An angel… okay, you did say hard to believe,” Sam had to admit. “Wait, so, your father… is God?”

“Yes.” Sam was highly skeptical and it obviously showed. “Believe me, I would love to be able to give you answers, but I have none. Why you, why me, why God got involved here…”

Once again, Sam couldn’t help chuckling. “Well, how about an easy one: the paperwork would’ve asked you for a last name. What did you put?”

Castiel pulled the paperwork from a pocket of his coat. “I actually don’t know, Zachariah or someone else arranged everything. It would seem James Castiel Novak. That makes sense, my vessel’s name with my name substituted for his middle name.”

“Your vess… wait.” Sam stared at Castiel suspiciously. “James Novak is my roommate’s name. Did you do that on purpose?”

“Zachariah probably did,” Castiel said, reading through the papers. “I was given my enrollment and housing paperwork. I didn’t even choose my classes for the first quarter, though as I understand it I get to choose after this.”

“Wait, you didn’t even pick what you were going to study? You said you had a plan… do you have your schedule in there? When are you moving in? What am I supposed to call you? Wait, why do you need a dorm, do you even sleep?”

“No, although I don’t suppose they could stop me from changing to whatever I wanted if I am to choose my own classes,” Castiel said with a thoughtful look. “In class I will likely go by Jimmy. While some angels have names that are common among humans, I am not one of them. Rachel and Hannah would have no trouble fitting in. Uriel and Balthazar and I, not so much. Zachariah would object to the nickname, but it would work.”

“Well, what about going by Cas? It’s not exactly common, but it’s not going to get attention called to you either,” Sam suggested. “If someone does ask, just say it’s an old family name that you got stuck with for your generation. Then you don’t have to think about whether the people you’re hanging out with know you as Jimmy or Castiel.”

“Yes, that does work,” Castiel said gratefully. “Very well, call me Cas. I do not sleep, but neither do I get bored, so I will not keep you awake with sound or light. I suppose I may as well move in tomorrow, although I don’t have much to move in. Textbooks, bed things, a laptop. The dorm is to pass as human. I’m not going to be very good at it even with an acceptable name, I fear.” He paused for a moment. “I’m sorry, what else did you ask?”

“I don’t have just a whole lot more than that. Some clothes, maybe,” Sam said. “And I asked if you had your schedule with you, or if you know it.”

Cas flipped through the papers. “Here it is. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have Introduction to Philosophy at nine, Religions of the World at eleven, and Introduction to Linguistics at ten. Monday afternoon I have philosophy discussion at two and religions discussion at four, Wednesday afternoon philosophy discussion at two and linguistics discussion at three. Tuesday and Thursday I have Writing & Rhetoric 1: Dark Humor: A Rhetoric of Social Taboos at 9:30, with discussion sessions at two on Thursday.”

Sam stared at him. “Zachariah?”

“Zachariah.” Cas looked up from the schedule. “How many of those are you in?”

“All of them except the religion class – but my introduction to psychology class is at the same time. I have discussion at four on Monday, too, though.” Sam shook his head in amused disbelief. “You know? I think it’s probably just as well you told me the truth upfront. If I didn’t know, this would start to be kind of creepy.”

“I’m sorry. It’s still rather awkward,” Cas said.

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” Sam said. “Honestly, it’s kind of nice that most of my classes I’ll know someone. We’ll figure this out, or at least you’ll be able to look your people in the face and tell them we tried.”


	3. Day 3 - Outsider POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to surprise God. Castiel and Sam? They pull it off.
> 
> Tags: Chuck, Chuck POV

One of the downsides to being who he was is that he was almost never surprised by anything. Sam meant well but didn’t listen to his warning and freed Lucifer? Of course he did. That’s how this story went. Castiel got sent to Naomi so that he wouldn’t get Dean to Sam in time to stop it? He felt bad for the little soldier, he’d been sent to Naomi far too often, but the story was the story.

If he had to pick a favorite among the angels, it was Castiel, specifically for how often he’d had to be sent to Naomi. He’d always hoped that one day, Michael would catch on to what he really wanted. Humans were his favorite of his creations. Why? Because the humans had their free will. They thought for themselves. They were capable of their own creations.

When the books said that he’d made humans in his own image, it wasn’t about the two arms and two legs and hair and eyes. That was just practical. Hell, that hadn’t even exactly been his doing, it’s just how things went. What that was supposed to mean was that, like him, the humans were creators. Thanks to Lucifer’s meddling they had entirely too much of his sister in them too, making them destroyers as well, but it kept things interesting. He missed his sister. Maybe, someday, he could set her free and she would see how amazing these humans were, how creation and destruction were balanced in their lives.

Of course, that depended on them not starting the Apocalypse. He wasn’t surprised by Sam’s remorse and intent to redeem himself. He was surprised by Dean’s resistance, but he could tell it wouldn’t last. He wasn’t surprised by Castiel’s determination to find him. He wouldn’t be found, of course. He’d turned off the amulet, and Castiel would never suspect him. He’d let it go for a while, and when the time was right, he’d break Castiel. It wasn’t hard. Sure, it hurt hearing his favorite angel curse him, but he’d locked his sister out of the universe and confined his favorite son to the Cage of Hell. He could suck up the tantrum.

He’d pinned his hopes for the survival of Earth on Sam, and he wasn’t disappointed. Of course, it wouldn’t be easy. It couldn’t be easy or it would just feel cheap. Sam came through, though. He almost failed, but as soon as Dean changed his mind about saying yes to Michael, he knew Sam would do it. It was the edge Sam would need, having Dean there to remind him what he was really fighting for.

He figured he’d give it a few weeks, just to see what Dean would do, and then he’d open the back door and rescue Sam. Newly-promoted Castiel, of course, would keep Raphael from getting any big ideas. Raphael had always been the least interested in Earth, so with the clear sign of God’s favor of ending the Apocalypse in the form of Castiel’s promotion, Raphael would settle Heaven down and things would be quiet.

Castiel, though…

The little seraph surprised him. He’d never thought that Castiel would be brave enough to risk his promotion and his victory for Sam. One look into the angel’s heart, however, explained all. When he wasn’t paying attention, Castiel had gone and fallen in love. He’d thought as the good soldier one last time, accepting the sacrifice that was necessary to achieve the objective – and then, when he had to live with the sacrifice, realized he couldn’t. He wasn’t surprised at all that Dean was struggling and searching for a way to get Sam out, but also coping and to some extent moving on with his life. He was very surprised that Castiel wasn’t just searching for a way to get Sam out, he was creating one.

Lucifer was a smart one, though. He recovered from the surprise of finding Castiel in his Cage too quickly, and tried to capture Sam’s soul. He was torn – on the one hand, he’d been non-interventionist for a very long time, and Sam had accepted that this was eternal. On the other hand, Sam had seen enough torture, and, well, he had planned on springing the guy.

The look on Lucifer’s face when he realized his plan had failed and he’d kept the fake soul instead of the real one was worth it. The look on Castiel’s face when he realized he was successful was almost as good. The best one, though, was the look on Sam’s face when Castiel confessed why he’d done it, why he’d taken the risk of being trapped himself.

Being who he was made him hard to surprise. This had been the best surprise he’d had in millennia.


	4. Day 4 - Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's taking desperate measures to keep himself from calling Ruby. Castiel doesn't understand, and when he's heard Sam's explanation, it changes his view of Sam.
> 
> Tags: S4 AU, Ruby, mentions of drinking demon blood, supportive Castiel

The rain fell in sheets, soaking Sam as he sat on the bank of the river watching the turbulent water swirl around. Not all of the shaking was from being cold, though. The rustle of wings caught his attention, even above the noise of the rain, and he looked up at Castiel in confusion. “Dean’s not here, he’s at some bar, unless he’s already found a girl to go off with.”

“Then it seems likely pointless for me to go to him,” Castiel said. He looked curiously at Sam. “Why are you sitting in the rain?”

Sam tried to come up with any kind of lie that would be even remotely plausible. He failed. At least part of that was that he’d never thought Castiel would be curious enough about his actions to ask, and he was taken by surprise. “With all this rain, I can’t use my phone. If I can’t use my phone, I can’t call Ruby.”

“Your demon,” Castiel said, and Sam figured he had to be imagining the note of approval in Castiel’s voice. “Why do you need such drastic measures to avoid calling her?”

Castiel wouldn’t understand, so Sam tried to deflect. “You even care?”

“I care,” Castiel said, looking at Sam quizzically.

“Right, of course you care, can’t have Dean’s brother consorting with a demon.” Well, you know what? Whatever. The worst that could happen is that Castiel would smite him, but he doubted that would happen. Dean tended to go a little crazy when Sam died. He needed to talk, and this wasn’t something he could go to Bobby or Dean with. Castiel already hated him, why not talk to him? “I know I’m not supposed to use my powers. You guys were perfectly clear on that. But you have to understand, with my powers, I could save people. I was stronger, and I felt like… like I was making something good out of the crap hand I got dealt. And right now, I need all the strength I can get. I know it’s right there, all I have to do is stretch out my hand and take it, but I also know that I’d be setting myself against the angels. I know you guys are already only tolerating me because you need Dean. And… even I know that using demon blood as a power source has to be wrong.”

Castiel looked troubled. “You were drinking Ruby’s blood?”

“Yeah. She offered, she showed me how to do stuff like use my powers to exorcise demons, and the blood held off the headaches and nosebleeds. I’m not doing it now, since I’m only using my powers as a last resort. But I need strength,” Sam said.

“Why?” Castiel asked. “Why now more than a year ago when you were trying to save Dean from his deal?”

“Because last year, Dean wasn’t broken, weakened, like he is now,” Sam said.

Cas blinked. “You think Dean is weak?”

Sam knew he wasn’t imagining the disapproval there, but Castiel had misunderstood. “This isn’t about him breaking in Hell. Anyone would have. This isn’t even about him liking it. Hell is all about corruption and destruction, I’m not gonna hold anything he did or felt down there against him. This is about him not being able to accept that he did it, but that it’s over now, and he should forgive himself for it and move on. I don’t blame him for that, this isn’t his fault, and I know exactly how that kind of guilt works because I’m the same way. Hopefully, with time and help, he’ll get better. Until then, I have to be the strong one, help carry him the way he’s always been there to carry me.”

There was silence from Castiel, and when Sam looked up to see if the angel was even still there, he looked very thoughtful. “And despite this, despite the way I and my colleagues have treated you, especially compared to how Ruby has behaved, you’re freezing yourself in the rain so you won’t call on Ruby and seize that power.”

Sam nodded and turned back to the river. “Angels, Dean, my own instincts when I’m willing to stop and listen to them, they’re all screaming at me not to go down that road, that if I do it’ll start with good intentions but I’ll end up somewhere I really don’t want to go.”

An odd sound caught Sam’s attention, and he looked up again as he felt Castiel wrapping something around his shoulders. It was the coat he always wore. The angel sat beside him, carefully mimicking Sam’s posture. He noticed Sam’s curious look and his face softened just a little. “Nothing can keep you dry, but the coat will at least keep you warm. Or warmer, anyway. I don’t feel the cold.”

“And you’re hanging around so you can get your coat back when I go back to the room,” Sam guessed. “Got it.”

“If it were about the coat, I could find you any time I wished to retrieve it. I simply thought you could use the company.” Sam was startled, and it obviously showed, as Castiel continued, “I’m not good at social skills, and I’ve certainly given you every reason to dislike me, but you can’t have a book or your computer out in the rain, and it seems to me that having company, even me, would be better for you than having nothing to dwell on but your own thoughts. From what I’ve seen of humans, trying to avoid thinking about something is the surest way to make it your brain’s favorite topic.”

“Yeah, that’s true enough,” Sam had to admit. “Why are you doing this?”

“You know what Heaven thinks of you,” Castiel said.

“Which is kinda my point?” Sam said.

“And yet, in the time I’ve actually known you, you have completely failed to live up to that reputation. You’re supposed to be selfish. But one of the first things you said to me was calling out the plan to smite the town as wrong, despite your own safety being guaranteed, and it being an effective if brutal way to stop Samhain’s rising. You’re supposed to be power-hungry, but here we are in the rain so you can avoid taking a dangerous road for quick power. Power you gave up because your brother asked you to. You’re supposed to be corrupt, tainted by demon essence from infancy, and therefore have a demon’s heart. You should be incapable of the love you demonstrate for your brother, the empathy you showed for Anna, for victims in the cases you work. There is pride within you, and anger, but instead of directing deserved hostility toward me, you’ve shown me nothing but respect. Were you what Heaven says you are, your pride and anger would never allow that. You are supposed to be abomination, and yet you shine with the light of goodness. I was thoroughly confused by you, until today.”

“Confused by what?” Sam had to ask. He didn’t know what to think about Castiel saying what he’d said. He was horrified to learn the full extent of what Heaven thought, but the surprise that he had actually changed Castiel’s mind overwhelmed the horror, at least for now.

“Uriel believes that everything you do is an act, a way of belaying suspicions about you until you’re ready to turn. Given the choice between Uriel’s theory and accepting that Heaven is wrong about you, you must understand which would be easier for an angel to accept, especially one who hasn’t interacted with you.” That was fair, Sam had to admit. “I suppose there are those who would say that convincing an angel to not only question Heaven but to openly say that we are wrong about you is evidence that you are, in fact, corruption. But Heaven is wrong about you. I don’t pretend to understand how you became the exception to the rule that demon blood in infancy cannot be overcome, but I will do what I can to help you be the exception to the rule that once a human begins using demon blood it is impossible for them to stop.”

“It’s not an act,” Sam said. “I’m not trying to fool anyone. I’m trying my best.”

“I know that now. I’ve been suspicious of the theory ever since I took your hand,” Castiel said. He turned to look at Sam. “You’re still shivering.”

Sam pulled the coat a little tighter. “The coat helps, but it’s still cold and wet out here. I should’ve brought some coffee or something.”

“Coffee would help?” Castiel said.

“Some kind of hot drink anyway, and coffee’s what I usually drink,” Sam said. “It’s a good way to warm up, getting something hot inside you.”

Castiel disappeared, and returned a few minutes later with a thermos. He handed it to Sam. “The woman at the store recommended cider. I hope it is acceptable.”

Sam took a cautious sip, then another, less cautious one. “That’s really good, and probably better than coffee since I do eventually want to get to sleep tonight.”

“That is good to hear.” Castiel sat in silence for a bit as Sam sipped his cider. He was still shivering, but not nearly as much.

A woman with an umbrella came jogging over to them from the road, concern obvious all over her. “Are you two all right? Do you need somewhere to go? You’re going to freeze when the wind changes!”

“No, we’re good,” Sam said. By now, he had come up with a plausible lie. “My brother and I are passing through town on a road trip with our friend, and I don’t want to go back to the room because he brought a girl back with him. He tends to be nauseating, I really don’t want to watch my brother slobber over some girl, I’d rather be cold. So Cas and I came out here.”

“Are you sure?” the woman pressed. “You and your… friend… can stay with me tonight, it’s no trouble.”

“We’re really fine, ma’am, but you’re a very kind soul to offer. Thank you,” Sam said. The woman looked at Castiel, who nodded, and jogged back to her car. “Nice lady.”

“A true servant of Heaven,” Castiel agreed. “She changed what she intended to say.”

“Were you reading her mind?” Sam asked.

“Not any more than usual. I didn’t know whether you would accept her offer, so I checked to make sure that she was human and of good intent, and I caught the change,” Castiel explained.

Sam was curious. “What was she going to say?”

“She couldn’t decide whether partner or boyfriend was the correct term, so she used the one you had even though she didn’t believe that was accurate,” Castiel said.

Sam squeezed his eyes closed. “Sorry, I seem to get that a lot. I guess she figured it would take something like that for you to stay out here with me. It’s…”

Castiel just shrugged. “It’s not an unreasonable guess, considering the circumstances,” he said. Sam felt the wave of relief wash over him. “You have no need to be sorry.”

Sam looked over at Castiel, but the angel really didn’t seem bothered by it. “So I guess the fundamentalists have that wrong?”

“Among many other things, yes,” Castiel said. “No version of the religions that have sprung up around God and his angels has things completely correct, but it is particularly aggravating to hear our Father’s call to love one another used as a tool of hate and oppression.” He looked over to Sam again. “You’re still shivering.”

“I know. I’m hoping I can take it another hour or two, and then I’ll go back to the room and get dry clothes and warm back up. I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me.”

“I no longer believe that’s possible, Sam.”

“What, me being all right?”

“Not worrying about you. Now that I finally understand you, I can’t imagine not being concerned about you given the pressure you face. If you need help, I hope you’ll call on me before you call Ruby. I don’t know how useful I’ll be, but at least I’m not trying to lead you astray.”


	5. Day 5 - Autumn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cas have date night.
> 
> Tags: Dean is ridiculous, happy boys, sweetness and romance and fluff

“You really are a girl, aren’t you.” Dean stuck his head in the door to Sam’s room. “You have two nice shirts and one good pair of jeans. How long can it possibly take you to decide what to wear?”

“It’s not…” Sam threw a shoe at Dean. “Shut up.”

Dean dodged easily. “Just sayin’. Cas’s car just pulled in, so the longer you take up here doing your hair, the longer he gets to talk to me while I clean my guns.” He tossed the shoe back. “That goes on your left foot, if you need help.”

“Cas is your best friend.”

“And he’s dating my little brother now. Dad ain’t here to do it, so it falls to me to put the fear of Colt into him.”

“Shut up. I can take care of myself, you know. Besides, you’re the one who pushed us together! We wouldn’t be dating if you hadn’t made us talk to each other like grownups.”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t make the rules, Sammy. Don’t take too long, I just heard him walk in.”

Sam groaned and turned back to the shirts. Maybe it was ridiculous, having so much trouble deciding, but Castiel had gone to a lot of effort, doing a ton of research and planning. Sam didn’t want him to feel like he wasn’t making any effort at all.

Sam came down ten minutes later. Castiel had a bouquet of red and orange and gold flowers that made Sam smile with how beautifully it fit autumn. Castiel held it out to Sam. “You look very nice.”

“Thanks.” Sam took the flowers and buried his nose in them. They smelled… floral. Okay, so he had no idea what they were supposed to smell like, but they smelled good. “So do you.”

Dean took the flowers from Sam. “Go on, I’ll get these taken care of.”

“Thanks.” Sam let Castiel lead him to the car. It was an old Men of Letters car, a ’57 Chevy that Dean had recommended. “Was he horrible?”

“No. He was fine. Gun maintenance is a productive use of his evening, and I think he means to take care of all of your weaponry, since he said he would likely still be up and working when we get back. Considering how often you use them, it’s probably a good idea to go through them all every once in a while.”

Castiel drove while Sam ate his dinner. As an angel, Castiel didn’t need to eat, and Sam had learned a long time ago how to eat in a moving vehicle without making a mess. It wasn’t exactly an elegant candlelit dinner or romantic picnic, but for Sam, it felt more comfortable than either of those, less awkward with Cas not eating too, and besides, there was no beating the scenery. Castiel guided the car through the countryside, allowing them to enjoy the colors of the trees in autumn, amplified by the reddened light of the setting sun.

Once Sam was finished with his dinner and the sun was too low to see the colors anymore, he headed for a barn. Sam had no idea how Castiel had heard about it, but one of the farmers in the area held an annual barn dance to celebrate the harvest. They went early, hoping that they could pick up the moves better that way. As it turned out, there were several people who were there for the first time that year, so the more experienced dancers taught the less experienced. It was a lot of fun, and the people in charge had reassured all the newcomers that the most important thing was connecting with your partner if you’d brought one and enjoying yourself. Sam and Cas both considered the evening a success on those two counts, even if neither of them could quite master the dance moves.

From there, they headed back out into open countryside, where Castiel found a place to pull over. He wrapped his arms around Sam from behind. “Do not be afraid.”

“Why do angels always say that before they do their best to terrify the people they’re talking to?”

“I don’t know. I don’t mean to scare you now.” Castiel lifted him up into the air, getting them well above the Earth’s surface. “It’s just that the stars are so much brighter from up here, and there’s nothing in the way.”

When they got home, Dean was still awake, still cleaning their weapons, although he’d moved on to polishing various knives. “It’s three in the morning, Sammy.”

“And I’m thirty-seven years old. You don’t get to set a curfew on me.” Sam stuck his tongue out at Dean. “You might want to avoid my room. Cas is spending the night.”


	6. Day 6 - Episode-Related

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tag for "Baby". Sam forgot all about sending Castiel to his room to watch NetFlix.
> 
> Tags: NetFlix, importance of consent, cuddles

Sam had forgotten all about telling Cas to figure out Netflix, right up until he walked into his bedroom to find Castiel stretched out on his bed watching Game of Thrones. “Enjoying Netflix?” he asked, not bothering to hide the fond smile.

Castiel looked up, startled. “Hello, Sam. Yes. Thank you for telling me about it.”

“Good to hear.” Sam looked between Cas and the TV. On the one hand, he’d really been looking forward to sleeping in his own bed – and how weird was that still, having a bed he could call his? On the other, Cas looked so comfortable, so content, that Sam really didn’t want to kick him out. Well, his bed wasn’t particularly big, but there was probably enough room… “Angel hearing still working?”

“Yes. Why?” Cas looked away from the TV again, and then realization dawned. “Of course. It’s late, you’ll want to sleep.”

“Yeah.” Cas reached for the remote, but Sam shook his head. “Until we found this place, I never had my own room. You being here isn’t going to keep me from sleeping, as long as you keep the volume down. You’re welcome to stay.”

“You’re sure?” Cas asked.

“Yeah. Settle in, stay comfortable. I’ll be fine. Back in a bit,” Sam said, grabbing his toothbrush and other supplies. When he got back, Cas got up long enough that Sam could pull the blanket back to get underneath. He curled up, back to Cas, and drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, Sam found that at some point he’d rolled over and curled up against Castiel. That was odd. Even odder, the angel was literally sitting on his hands. “Good morning, Sam,” Cas said when he noticed Sam was awake.

Sam sat up quickly. “I am so sorry, Cas, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s quite all right. If I’d minded, I would have moved to sit on the floor. You seemed happy enough, but you were asleep. If you’d like me to move so you can sleep more, I will,” Cas said.

“No, if you’re okay, I don’t mind, but… why are you sitting on your hands?” Sam asked.

Cas looked down and pulled his hands out from under him. “Ah. Yes. That was to make myself behave despite being distracted by the show.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

Castiel sighed. “Your hair. It’s soft, and after the second time I realized I was touching it, I took steps to make sure I couldn’t.”

Sam was startled by that. It wasn’t the idea of people finding his hair irresistible, that always seemed to happen. Even Dean, as much as he made fun of Sam’s hair, always seemed to go for it as soon as possible when Sam was hurt. But Cas hadn’t shown much interest in touching anything at all, so for him to have trouble with that was a surprise. “Huh. Well, as long as you don’t wake me up, I don’t see the harm in it. Thanks for telling me, though.”

“Of course.” Castiel was surprisingly happy about that.

“All right, I’ve gotta grab some coffee and stuff, see if Dean’s got something he needs me to do. You need anything?”

“No. I’m good.” Castiel frowned at the television. “This plot is even more complex than the pizza man.”

Sam turned to look at the screen and laughed when he saw what Cas was watching. “Game of Thrones? Yeah, that’s a complicated one, all right. Kinda surprised you’d pick that one.”

“Why?” Cas asked.

“Just… not one I would have picked to show an angel, it’s kind of…” Sam cringed at the familiar taste of foot in his mouth and tried to figure out how to explain. “I mean, I know you don’t have a problem with watching sex or violence, but that show’s got a bit of a reputation for being over the top on both. And there’s not really much in the way of redeeming qualities or characters.”

“For a game, I was rather surprised at how deadly it’s turned out to be,” Castiel said. “I don’t know how humans keep track of all the characters.”

“It’s hard, all right,” Sam said with a chuckle. “Have fun.”

When Sam found Dean, he was researching Amara. “Did you sleep?”

“Yeah, I got my four hours, don’t worry, Mom,” Dean said. “What are you doing today?” 

Sam grabbed his laptop and a bottle of water. “Out here, you and I can bounce thoughts off each other as we look for something on Amara. But if I go back to my room, there’s an angel watching Game of Thrones. Sorry, Dean, but this is too good to pass up.”

“Only argument I got is that I want to come, books move too,” Dean said, face lighting up.

“Fine by me. Might want to bring a chair, though, you’re not eating popcorn on my bed,” Sam said.


	7. Day 7 - Let Them Be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam sees Castiel in a way he never had before, and it changes their relationship forever.
> 
> Tags: Wingfic, angel wings, unusual angel wing lore, these boys are so in love I can't, that damn hug that should have been but wasn't from Season 6

In all the years since he’d met Castiel, Sam had never forgotten that his friend was an angel. Except when he wasn’t an angel, but that was a strange and unusual time that Sam really hated thinking about because of Gadreel and all the bullshit that had happened during that time. The point was, he knew Castiel was an angel.

Still, it was one thing to know your friend was an angel, and another to walk into a room and see your friend literally glowing so brightly you can’t look directly at him, which was okay because your attention was completely captured by the great arcing wings that nearly filled the room.

“Hello, Sam. Where’s Dean?”

“Uh… he’s… food? I think? Maybe a girl. I forget.”

Castiel moved closer. “Sam, are you all right?”

“No. I… I mean… yeah, I’m… are you all right?”

“I’m confused, but I’m fine. What’s wrong?” Sam couldn’t see Castiel’s face through the glare, but he could imagine the look on it easily enough. He’d seen Castiel confused before. “You seem distracted.”

“You, um…” Sam shook his head and closed his eyes. After counting to ten, he reopened them. Castiel was still glowing, and the wings were still stretched out behind him. “You sure you’re all right?”

“Sam, I’m fine. I’m perfectly normal. You’re acting very oddly.”

“You’re glowing!”

“I’m…” Castiel raised a hand and looked at it. “Sam, you shouldn’t be seeing me glow. Is there anything else unusual?”

“Yeah. Okay. You’re glowing. It’s bright white, too bright for me to look at. But I can look at the wings.”

“Can you describe the wings?”

“You don’t know what your wings look like?”

“Not to you. I know what they look like to me, but there are things that can change how my wings appear to someone.”

“Okay. Your wings are blue, but kind of iridescent? Like, not sparkly or shiny or anything like that, more like they have their own soft silver glow, and when you move them, the blue and the silver shimmer a little.”

“Blue and silver.”

“Yeah. Blue, like the color of your eyes.”

“And silver? Not gold?”

“Silver. Why? What does this mean?”

“Well, the blue is simply your brain putting in a color that you associate with me. To me, they don’t appear to have a color, at least not one I can describe in human terms. But the silver…”

“What about it?”

“White I could have understood, that’s the usual color. Gold is for an angel whose presence in your life is valued and desired, which is what I’d hoped for when you said you could see them.”

“Huh. Then why am I not seeing gold? It’s not because I don’t want you in my life, that I promise you.”

“I believe you.” Castiel’s wings swept up and out, and Sam watched in awe. “You’re sure it’s silver.”

“I’m sure.”

“How odd. Silver is known for its purity. That’s why it’s such an effective weapon against so many things, it’s considered the purest of the metals. For you to see my wings as silver…” Castiel reached out and Sam felt the pressure of two fingers against his temple. Then Castiel was hugging him, wings wrapped around them like a cocoon. “Sam, the only way for you to be seeing my wings as silver is if you and I share a love that is true. If your heart has chosen me as your partner, as I chose you many years ago.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you, but I realized that what I felt for you was love when I took on your Hell memories. I never said anything for what I trust are obvious reasons.”

“Well then. I’ve got you beat, I’ve known I loved you since you came to see me after my soul got out of Hell. That’s why I was so awkward about not hugging you then. I’m sorry about that, by the way, but it just kind of hit me that if I hugged you I wasn’t sure where I’d want it to stop.”

“Oh. Sam, please believe me when I say that if you had said something then, even if I wasn’t in love with you yet, I would not have been cruel. I don’t know what would have happened, but I would not have reacted with anger or disgust or any of the things I’m sure you’ve been telling yourself over the last few years.”

“I forgave you for breaking my wall as soon as I could think straight. Even if I hadn’t, I’d have forgiven you when you took on my pain. I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Why now, though? Why am I seeing your wings now?”

“I don’t know. Does it matter?”

“No, not really, I guess. The problem is that I can barely see you, thanks to the glow. I know what I’m seeing now is more you than what I’m used to seeing, but…”

“But you’re used to me in my vessel. I understand. Open your eyes, Sam?”

Sam opened his eyes. The glow was gone, but the wings weren’t. “Much better. Thank you.”


End file.
